Eliza can't stop crying.

The thing is, everything makes me cry. I've never felt so unhappy in my life... It's like I no longer have a reason to wake up, study, talk to people. And I know my state of mind makes things even more difficult for me and Kurt. Although He says He is worried about me, I am aware my moody behaviour also annoys Him. I've became paranoid, like I always look for stuff that might imply He isn't interested in me anymore.

Yesterday He got annoyed at me, because when He left Poland I went to talk to my only friend who lives near me ( a drawback of living on suburbs). And that friend is a guy... I just needed to talk to someone, not even about Kurt, I just needed to stop crying and meeting up with JJ helped me to do that. And The Love Of My Life  didn't like that. To be honest I think he is being unfair, I have no romantic intrest in JJ and I have never done anything to make Kurt think otherwise.

What also makes things difficult for me is how absent He sometimes is on Skype. Like, I talk to Him and He isn't even listening, or He looks at the TV all the time. I know He does love me, and when He is here, He makes me feel like a princess but He sometimes  fails to do that online. I understand that He is tired but sometimes I get the impression that me being on cam simply annoys Him. The good thing is, It's not always that He does that. There are times when after talking to Him, I'm over the moon and even the memories of them make me  smile loads. And I probably made it look like Kurt isn't trying when He is in England and I'm here so if anyone belives so, I assure you it's not that bad.